Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me

I really did. Maybe it's because I've been listening to too much Morrissey of late.


I dreamt that I was in love with my childhood friend H, who I haven't seen for about twelve years. And he loved me back. It wasn't a steamy, getting-jiggy-with-it dream. It was a holding-each-other-close-and-going-shopping-together dream. Comfortable, deep and easy love.


I woke up feeling really happy, then as the realization dawned that it was all just a dream, the happiness faded to be replaced with - what? A sense of loss? Wistful longing? Melancholy? Or maybe just emptiness.


I suppose what my subconscious is telling me is that I'm ready for love. Proper, adult love. I just need to find it.


In the meantime, I'm going to email H. I always listen to my dreams.
1.7.04 11:20


The moon's a balloon

It's full moon tomorrow. The sugar cravings have returned. The jitters are descending. I should go and lie down in a darkened (and preferably locked) room until the lunacy recedes.


Nah, bollocks to that. I'm going to get an almond croissant and a cup of coffee.


Lord help my co-workers.
1.7.04 12:06


Fraud

We have a work experience girl in all week at Clerkenwell Towers. Apparently she is "very interested in Reception", and I've been asked to show her what I do. Oh heck. I don't "do" anything. I can just see it now...


YAAGers: So, um, this is the phone. When it rings I pick it up and put the caller through. But it doesn't ring very often. And... er... this is the franking machine. And... um... yeah. Here, have some pink post-it notes to play with. You can make flip-books out of them - look... *flip flip flip flip flip*


Unimpressed 16-year-old: What else do you do?


YAAGers: Ah... well. Um. Have you ever heard of blogging...?


She is going to report back to my boss and I am going to get fired.
1.7.04 14:01


Friday night in pictures

The Goldfrapp gig at Glastonbury filled me with love for humankind...



 


Then the hash fudge I'd wolfed down filled me with the fear...



Look at the skull-fucked terror in my baby blues...
1.7.04 17:28


Sophisticated

Crikey. That Daisy sure does throw a mean dinner party. There were Bellinis. There were filo parcels. There were little strawberry shortcake towers. Oh yeah, and there were eight bottles of white and pink wine. Thank the good Lord that Em and the 'boon failed in their late-night lemonade mission, otherwise there would have been vodka and lemonade as well.


I thought I was going to pass out on the Metropolitan Line this morning. I've had a sausage baguette and some fat coke and my brain still feels like it's been through a mangle. Today should be spent doing the absolute minimum.


Unfortunately, when I got in to the office the work experience girl was waiting for me.


W.E. Girl: (brightly) Morning!


YAAGers: Urgh. Blergh. 'Ello.


W.E. Girl: Is it okay if I sit with you today and make notes? I've decided I like reception best.


YAAGers: Oh. Ah. Well, um, sure. But can you give me a moment to eat my sausage sandwich because (sotto voce) I'm a bit hungover.


W.E. Girl: Sure. I'll see you later!


Goody. I just can't wait. I can just see that I'm going to have to introduce her to the world of blog.
2.7.04 11:18


Plan A, Plan B

What I should be doing tonight


Curling up on my sofa with a cup of tea and watching old Jimmy Cagney movies.


 


What I will actually be doing tonight


Stuffing all my earthly possessions into cardboard boxes and getting stressed.


 


 


*sob*
2.7.04 17:16


For the rain it raineth every day

I have to send a letter via registered post. This necessitates a trip 10 minutes down the road to the post office.


Look out of the window. It's Biblical out there. It's like someone has tipped the whole of the Lake District onto Clerkenwell.


Now, I am wearing white linen trousers. If I go out in the rain, then I know for a fact that they are going to go see-through. And I'm not keen on the idea of the whole of Old Street seeing my knickers.


What are the chances that the rain is going to let up between now and 5:30...?
2.7.04 17:31


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